Beam Us Up
I view the world like a cranky VHS tape that has been played too many times. Do you even know what I mean by that? Have you ever even had a VHS tape? What about a VCR?
The crinkling sound the tape made going into the machine. The pleasures it would display of something you painstakingly taped yourself or a Hollywood film. The audio warble it created and that very scary jump of picture which made you wonder if this may be the last time you’re playing the tape. It’s a lot like saving a document in 1997 in case the whole computer crashed. Something else a bunch of people don’t know anything about.
I’ve seen the seasons come and go in madness. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of always starting. May the year of 2022 be the start that continues and does not need to be restarted! The older I get the more I see that both sides are rotten. All sides are rotten. The wings do belong to the same bird and that bird is an addled zombie.
In 2022 I find myself seeking something that I do not know. I’ve sought it all before, but this time I’m looking for something else. I’ve been in and out of society. I’ve played their wicked games way too much. I’m tired of the feed. Everything is a feed that feels like a bag strapped to a horse’s face. Get it off! Take it away! Bring a carrot and leave the stick.
I stopped writing for awhile because I knew that I was stuck on repeat enough as it was. It’s always the same thing wearing different sheep’s clothing. The Story of the Digital Boy has a lot of chapters that sound the same. He chases the golden goose. He loses the goose. He is upset by the constraints of his digital world. Is it the zombie bird in golden goose clothing? The world that man has made is a charade.
I think it would be beautiful to delete the apps from my phone and somehow only visit them by way of desktop computing. But then I wouldn’t know what is going on in the Land of Make Believe! Twenty-five digital years in front of this box and I still can’t tear myself away from the people out there in the dark. If I could only understand how to read a book for as long of a time as I read the feed.
I’ve let a lot of things go. That’s what life is. I might be extra exhausted because I tried to win from the very beginning. I crawled from my mother’s womb and acted like the Monopoly Man. I wanted so badly to crawl to the top of all of this junk and be Queen of the pile. I watched too many movies that taught me how to play, fight, and win. Even though I have not yet won. Well, maybe I have.
I’ve slowly allowed a person to come out of the alien I was. To feel the feelings and embrace the insanity. Now he is seeking something that can be stripped of greed and sadness.
This is the VHS tape of my mind. I’m warbling around, the scratchy picture is jumping, with a little bit of old school HBO scramble! I’m still trying to find it. We no longer know what it is. But, that might be better for all of us.